Groking the split
Groking the split
I live in a small world and she needs to live in a big one.
They are really the same world but in my version you make small subtle movements. Peace comes from a canoe in the middle of a lake, building things with your hands, and hammocks and porch swings. There are rules and set behaviors. You dress up for Mardi Gras and you dress down for work. It’s mostly black and white. You die trying to keep your word and promises. And because of that I will always think she was wrong to give up and leave.
But in her world there is a wide-open space that must be filled by collecting attention around you and spinning it until it’s a whirling dervish of activity. Movements are big and that’s what brings happiness. And that happiness is more important than any vow or self-sacrifice. I can visit that world but I can’t live in it.
17 Nov 2005, semi-poetic words I found while trying to understand the end of my marriage